Michelle
I’m furious.
I heard the door open in the middle of the night. The father of my children is finally home from clubbing,
and now I’m storming into the kitchen, angrier than a thundercloud.
I press on the lights. “MADDOX!”
The behemoth of a man jumps in startlement. He is facing the kitchen cabinet, hand deep down into a
bag of chips. When he turns around to meet my eyes, he looks like a hamster caught in headlights.
His eyes are immense, cheeks even more gigantic and filled with chips, and he stares at me in
stupefaction.
I plant my hands on my sides, daring to glare and challenge my boyfriend, who is like twice my size.
“Where have you been?!” I roar at him and try to look as imposing as I can from my almost five feet of
height.
“At the city bar and some clubs…”
“Ah, partying… Why haven’t you answered any of my calls?!”
Maddox’s lips tip up by the corners. I glare harder, and he walks over to me with unsteady feet, looming
over me. I swallow thickly.
I’m not sure what to expect from Maddox when he is drunk. I thought I was over my fear of men, but
alcohol can mess with a people’s brain. Therefore, I remain guarded, waiting for his next move.
It could be anything. Maddox holds out the chips bag expectantly. “You want some chips?” Is he
serious? I harder my glare. “No.”
“Why not?” “It’s four in the morning.” “The perfect time for some snacks.”
“No, it’s not.” “Suit yourself,” Maddox downs the rest of the chips, licks his lips, and then disposes of the
chips bag. “Are you angry with me?” “Yes.”
Immediately, his face pales. “No, don’t be angry with Maddox!”
1/5
My eyes narrow. “Are you drunk?”
He smiles dumbly down at me. “Ha, you’re so short,” with his fingers, he massages my scalp, still
smiling. “Such soft hair.”
I can’t stop myself from facepalming. “Oh-my-god… You’re drunk…” There is a hiccup: “Maybe…
You’re cute.” “Maddox, you have to take this seriously-”
A shriek leaves my lips when he picks me up, hugging me like I’m his long-lost teddy bear.
“Release me!”
“But I don’t want to…”
Anger spikes up the hair on my back. “Put. Me. Down.”
Maddox ignores me, rubbing his scruffy face against me while holding me tighter. He is surprisingly
gentle and sweet but won’t soften up-I’m a strong woman. I’m going to keep being strong, and holy
shit-was that a kiss on my neck? It makes me shudder.
Damn.
My resistance is weakening.
It’s been so long since we had sex, and Maddox’s arms bulge as he hugs me tighter. “I missed you a
lot today, Michelle…”
There is another smooch.
Crap.
My skin crawls, begging me to do something, but I’m fighting my urges. Must. Resist. Kissing. Maddox.
Back
I channel angry mom and wife energy, not that we are married, but I know the tone. “Then you should
have come straight home…”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Maddox kisses my cheek, then moves to my lips, nibbling the lower one. Even
drunk, the man knows how to tease me, and his voice is gravelly when he speaks. “I just feel like we
don’t spend enough time together…” “We live together…” I’m shuddering in his arms. His lips are full
and soft, but we haven’t solved our problems.
“I know,” Maddox kisses me again. “But I still feel lonely.”
I keep the facade of anger to hide that I’m horny. “And your solution was to go out drinking?” Another
kiss. “It was a stupid decision.”
“It really was…”
“I wanted you to call and text me, tell me you miss me…” “I did – so many fucking times, Maddox! You
didn’t answer your phone even once! Do you know how worried I‘ve been?”
“I dropped my phone… Broke it and had no card to pay for a cab. I walked home from the city
club.”
“But it’s like…” I rake my brain, trying to figure out how long he must have walked. “How far away is
that damn club?!” “I don’t know… Two hours away?”
“Jesus Christ…”
“Yeah…”
“Aren’t you tired?”
“Very.”
Maddox is walking away with me now. He takes me to the couch in the living room and sits down with
me on his lap. His arms are wrapped around me, lips on my ear.
When he speaks, his voice is all broken and deep, gravelly. “Do you love me, Michelle?” 1
Every hair stands on edge on my body. Maddox’s voice is sexy. “How is that even a question? Of
course, I do.”
He kisses the nape of my neck. “You spend a lot of time with our sons, and that’s okay, but… It feels
like you don’t include me.” I’m taken aback. “W-What do you mean? You’re always with us when you
come home from work.”
“But not always.”
“Well…” I’m thoroughly surprised. A sigh leaves my lips. “Maddox, you work all day-football is your
profession. You earn a living, and then you come home and…”
“And?”
“This won’t sound good no matter how I word myself, but being with the twins is lovely. They are my
everything, but sometimes they also drain me of energy.”
“Well, of course, they do. Every parent is tired. What point are you trying to make?” 1
“Maddox, I get tired even though I don’t have a job!” I say in a frustrated voice, sighing. “I thought it
would be nice if I let you… You know, if I let you rest and be away from this life once in a while.”
Realization seems to dawn on him as he stays silent for a while. I can almost hear the gears in his
head turning. Eventually, he speaks. “You thought it would be a burden and that you would put too
much on me if you included me… So you tried to shoulder the entire parenthood and do everything
yourself?” It sounds so stupid, but it’s the truth. “Yes.”
He snorts. “That’s dumb.”
My shoulders slump in defeat. “I know… But because you’re a football star, I thought maybe… Maybe
family life was boring for you?”
“Boring for me?”
“Fuck, the wrong choice of words,” i groan. “I don’t know why I did it, Maddox. I didn’t want to exhaust
you with your football AND the twins, and then… I don’t know. I thought it would make you leave me if
there was too much work.” 1
He is silent for a while. I dangle my legs from the height of his lap until he sighs and leans forward,
resting his chin on my shoulder. His big, arms are tight around me again, fingers lapping my stomach.
“I want to be included.”
My guilt eats at me. “I get that… I’m sorry…” “I’m sorry too…”
“For what?”
“Being drunk…”
“You seem to be sobering up.”
“Because I’m really trying, but fuck-it’s hard. Like… It takes all of my focus to not just strip you naked
instead of talking.”
I pause, shocked by his words. “You’re… You’re horny?”
“Yes.”
A slow exhale leaves my body. “But… We can’t have sex.” His nose is running along the sensitive skin
on my neck. He breathes me in, a long, deep breath. “Why not?”
I swallow thickly.
This will not be an easy conversation to have. I can already feel the discomfort in my bones. I’m scared
and ashamed, but I know this topic can’t be avoided much longer.
There is a reason why I avoid touching my boyfriend.
And the exact reason is also why I shove away his hand when he tries to make sexual advances. It’s
gnawing at me because I crave his touch. I do. I’m just scared.
“H-Have you seen my post-pregnancy belly?”
“Not really,” Maddox replies. “You barely show yourself naked anymore. You run around in clothes and
tap my hands away if I try to remove them. Michelle, you even sleep in baggy t shirts…”
I take a deep breath. My heart is pounding, and tears threaten to escape from my eyes. 1 “I do it
because I’m scared you will leave me.” “Why would I leave you?”
“Because I’m ugly!” He freezes but then sighs and kisses my ear, whispering “Babe, there is nothing
wrong with what you look like And no matter what, you will always be beautiful to me.”
My heart won’t slow down, and the discomfort is still churning in the pit of my stomach. 1 Maddox
doesn’t understand!
I’m… I’m hideous, and there are stretch marks. More than normal. I had twins, for fuck’s sake!
“You only say that because you haven’t seen me, Maddox. You wouldn’t find me beautiful if you saw
my body…”
“Show me then,” Maddox whispers as he strokes my stomach from the other side of my t shirt. His
calloused hands feel so good, and he dives closer to my ear, whispering. “Let me see.
“No…”
“Why?”
“It’s embarrassing.”
He chuckles. “Baby, you can’t run around hiding your body forever.”
“Yes, I can.”
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“No,” there is another chuckle and a kiss. I shudder, and Maddox smiles against my skin, amused.
“Just show me.” “It’s not that easy when your boyfriend is a super hunk, and you’re this trashbag mom
with rings under her eyes.” “Stop being so mean to yourself, and just take this off,” he tugs at the hem
of my t-shirt. “I will love and worship you no matter what. Just trust me. Take this off.” I close my eyes,
taking a deep breath. “Promise me that you won’t laugh at me.” He chuckles and vibrates. “You’re
killing me right now…” I growl and speak in a slow, threatening voice. “Promise me.” “I promise you,” I
can hear the smile in his voice. “Will you now just show me your gorgeous body?”
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