"Hello, Dr Ch'ing."
I said into my phone.
"Hello, Kristian."
Jia Li, the specialist I had contacted after learning about Elsa's mother greeted me on the other end.
"How are you?"
"I am doing alright.
I just wanted to know how things are coming along? Are they still there?"
1 "Oh, yes.
I had some tests run to get to know better about my patient."
I heard some papers shifting and she explained, "Mrs Huxley has passed well into stage II of Breast
cancer, but it's not worse.
There are new procedures and treatments we have been working with.
Right now, there is multi-modality treatment consisting of surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and
hormonal therapy.
We will diagnose which treatment would suit her the most and it will require time and patience on both
our parts.
Sometimes she would have to remain in the facility to keep her under observation."
"How much time will it take?"
I asked.
"At least three months and then it depends on how the patient is reacting to the treatment so it could be
six or seven months."
1 She paused and I got the impression that she wanted to say more.
"Is there something you want to tell me, Dr Ch'ing?"
"Actually, it was just that as you've told me that you'd be the benefactor of all the expenses for Mrs
Huxley's treatment, so I just wanted to let you know that a lot of this could've not been necessary if she
had been taking her medicines and having regular check-ins with her doctor.
The cancer has worsened because most of her medicines aren't effective anymore and from what she
told me she hasn't been taking them like she should have."
I remained silent for a while, my fingers curling into fist.
It made me fucking angry to think that Elsa had been neglecting her mother's health, but I knew that
she loved her mother so it begged the question what the fuck happened to the money she had gotten.
But I pushed that thought away as I asked another question that was inhabiting my mind since I
googled about breast cancer.
1 "Is this hereditary? What is the percentage of her daughter being diagnosed with the same?"
I asked and held my breath, suddenly I felt uneasy to know what she had to say about it.
2 "Breast cancer is one of the inherited cancers, passed through genes, but I don't think Mrs Huxley's
daughter would be at risk of the same as she was diagnosed four years back only."
She added, "But I would suggest to have the tests done, to put our minds at ease."
"Hmm…"
I murmured.
"Thankyou for your help and clearing your schedule for me."
"It's not a problem at all, Kristian.
After what you did for my sister I am all too happy that I could return the favor."
I shook my head, feeling uncomfortable for another reason now.
"It was my job, Dr Ch'ing.
I didn't do anything but my duty."
Dr Ch'ing's sister was in an abusive relationship with her husband, who being a sadistic bastard
deserved worse than the ten years behind the bars that I got for him.
1 "All the same, I'm very thankful to you.
For unlike all the other lawyers that are men, who are supposed to be on my sister's side, never saw
her as a victim but an instigator."
"I apologize on their behalf."
"I wish all men could be like you.
Honored and kind."
2 "Give my regards to your sister.
Good day, Dr Ch'ing."
I ended the call and admitted to myself that I was a hypocrite arsehole.
I wasn't a good man like Dr Ch'ing thought me to be.
I was having Elsa's mother get the best treatment there was, just so I could have her under my thumb.
Not out of the goodness of my heart.
Whatever goodness i'd had once, she stomped on it.
How could I be a better man if all I could think about was how to get back at her for the way she had
thrown my concern for her in my face this morning.
For a moment my walls had lowered to see the fear and panic in her eyes.
At first I had thought that something or someone was bothering her but then she had lashed out at me
and all I wanted to do was to grab her hair and drag her up to my apartment.
The only thing that had stopped me was the children playing in the park nearby.
But soon enough I will have her at my mercy.
Again.
Last night in the restaurant I had given in when I had seen the hunger.for release in the big blue eyes of
her.
I was transferred to the dark nights in the forest and in the shed where she had looked at me with those
bright blue eyes, begging me silently to give into the sin of making her mine.
Again and again, I had given in.
And last night was the same, but this time I wouldn't fall for her innocent act.
This time, I would be the one for whom she would surrender.
Not the other way around.
She didn't beg me like I had wanted and still she got what she wanted, now I will have the same.
It's time to corrupt the innocence she still wears and uses it to bend me to her will.
1 "Is this alright?"
The nurse asked as she adjusted the bed for my mother.
Mom gave her a small smile and nodded her thanks.
When she turned to me, I asked, "Are you going to be okay? I have to go and check up on Anna?"
She squeezed my hand, her hold lacking her usual strength because of all the drugs in her system.
They had changed her medicines and introduced her to new drugs and for that they are going to keep
her here overnight for observation.
"I will be fine.
There are people here to look after me.
Don't worry."
I stood up and kissed her forehead.
Even though the facility we were escorted in after our check up with Dr Ch'ing in the main hospital was
nothing like a medical facility but more like a four star hotel, I didn't want to leave my mother alone.
But considering that my little daughter was all alone in the apartment and it had been five hours since I
left her, I was now starting to come out at the seems to go back to her.
"Go.
I'll be fine."
My mother insisted.
The nurse who was hearing our exchange said, "You can leave and don't have to worry about anything.
I will be here if she needs anything, each of the patients here have their own personal nurses so I won't
be called away."
I nodded and kissed my mother's cheek one more time before I left.
On the way to the apartment my thoughts were haywire, romping around my mind unchecked from one
problem to another.
And I have several, one being the arsehole with grey eyes.
I thought about my daughter and what Mom told me.
It seemed my daughter had questions about her father and because she knew the topic upsets me she
had turned her questioning to my mother who had been too happy to tell my daughter that her father
was the sweetest and caring man she ever knew.
Ha! If she knew him now, I'd bet she wouldn't say the same.
i I knew why my mother was telling Anna all these things, she was hoping that it would prepare my
daughter to face her father one day and feel like she already knew him, and also she was trying to
force my hand Hut even though I had told her i'd tell Kristian the truth, I needed time.
At least a month or maybe two Iclosed my eyes and didn't open them until the cab stopped in front of
the apartment building.
For the aust time I noticed the name Black Rock High Rise and wondered how a man who wouldn't
leave his mother's side was living here in New York And where was his brother? I haven't seen him or
heard Kustian say his name even.
A melancholic feeling took hold of me as I remembered Kristoff.
He had always managed to make me smile.
And Kristian had been too protective of him, so for him to be here all alone doesn't make much sense.
3 "Excuse me."
Startled, I looked at my side to see a woman waiting for me to step aside so she could pass.
"Oh, I am sorry."
I muttered as I stepped aside.
I had been standing in the way like a stupid all this time while daydreaming Shaking my head at myself,
I made my way inside and walked to the bank of elevators.
Just as the doors were closing, a hand shot out to stop them and a familiar face stepped in.
At first she didn't say anything but five minutes later, she turned to me and her eyes travelled from my
head to my bare toes in the comfortable flats I was wearing "You know, I could help you with your…"
She waved her hand, "This won't hold his interest."
idiot woman didn't realize I was trying to ignore her as she came to stand in front of me.
She was tall, I'd give her that, but then she was also wearing heels that made me cringe in sympathy.
Seriously, how was she even standing it was a miracle.
"Men like him aren't much interested in the innocent look you've going on."
"Oh, believe me.
I don't want his interest."
I said, and stepped away from her.
She laughed.
"Even if you have it you won't know what to do with it."
I smiled at her as sweetly as I could and said, "If I wanted him, I would've him in a heartbeat."
Because I was tired of her remarks, I said, "And before you make a bigger fool out of yourself, just
know I'm here because he brought me here which means he's really digging this innocent look.
Huh."
2 The elevator doors opened on my floor and she asked, "You live here?"
I gave her a bright smile and said, "Isn't it great, how innocence can be a bigger tum on than a slutty,
know-it-all, behaviour?"
I walked away from her knowing too well that it's always innocence that has greater pull on men like
Kristian, because they had lost theirs a long time ago.
It's really ironic how they seek out the light to fill their dark parts and feel less empty and more loved.
And Kristian had all the darkness that had pulled me in.
I guess it was the other way with him, because I was the one who wanted to fill his dark nights with
brightness.
I was the one who was drawn to his dark and somehow, I was the one who pushed him back in the
shadows too from which he emerged totally altered with no trace of compassion that I had once
glimpsed.
I wondered if there was anything left of the kindness he had once had.
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