"Bullshit. You ARE part of this story. You're here, aren't you? You're helping... you're back with the pack.
Maybe Colton isn't your happy ever after, maybe this specific story isn't about you, but the fates don't
make mistakes, and you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be with me now, if there wasn't a reason. You
have a worth and I bet my last breath your story is far from over." My venomous conviction rings true,
my heart certain on this fact and I refuse to dismiss her as some unimportant object that was dropped
along the way. She was a huge thorn in my side, a recurrent shadow to my happiness, and there's no
way the fates would have made me become so tied to her like this for absolutely nothing. She has to
have some kind of importance.
"I think the reason is you are too soft and Meadow, well, she wanted a verbal punch bag for a long ass
journey while neither of you wanted Sierra to deal with the mess I was yesterday. I'm not stupid. I'm
also not about to crumble and throw myself to the vampires. I'm not my mom. I don't need babysitting
and I'll only take so much of Meadow's attitude before I rupture her eardrums." It's said with a hint of
sass and a smile curls up unexpectedly at the corner of her mouth that I can't miss. A hint of softening
as she dampens down her emotions once more and returns to that cold aloofness I am getting used to.
I have to admire the girl, she has a fire in her, even if it's shrouded in an unlikeable attitude. I can see
what she says is true and knowing now she endured months of torture and pain at Juan's hands, I
know she's not about to curl up and cry. She has fight in her and maybe Meadow knew it and that's
why she wanted her to come. She doesn't like her, she never did, but Meadow knows skill and has a
sixth sense about people's ability. She relies on it with our pack and if she thought Carmen was an
asset on this trip then I know she chose her with putting her feelings aside. There is more to this girl
than I even credited her for, and I only hope I get to see her shine sooner rather than later. Even if I
can't believe I am actually thinking this way about my once sworn enemy.
"Just try and not fight with her.... my eardrums are not to blame for you two and your spats." I point out
with a raised brow and Carmen sighs in some kind of mutual defeat.
"I hate how much he loves you... how you are together and I'm not sorry about that. It hurts to see it...
but I won't do anything to jeopardize my place in the homestead. It's not that easy to get over someone
like him, but I know it's utterly pointless to even look at him twice. I can see where his heart and his
focus lies. I'm not a threat, not that I ever could be.... I'm just saying." She shrugs, turning her full
attention back to driving and the simmering atmosphere seems to dull down and dissipate so quickly
that it's unnerving.
She's honest anyway, even if the deliverance is harsh and I don't like some of the content, but I respect
the fact she's being truthful about what she feels, and I stretch out and sigh heavily.
"I'm sorry that you got hurt. That he had someone before me that had to let him go. I can't imagine
what that must have felt like. It wasn't what I wanted; I didn't even know him." Although from the
moment we imprinted I knew I could never let him go and want him or not, I was his forever. It doesn't
change that what we did was cruel, even if neither of us controlled it. I see that now.
"Yeah well, like I said... the world keeps turning. I'm sure it's not the last time I'm going to experience
hell for merely existing. I'm starting to accept its maybe what's meant for me."
I hate this pessimistic attitude she has, but I get it. It's the hard knock lack of self-worth because life
has booted you in the face repeatedly, and you learned to never hope for anything better. Resigned to
disappointment, pain, suffering, and accepting it, rather than crying at every crumbling block. I guess I
used to have it too, when life kept throwing me down and hurting me in all kinds of unfair ways. It kills
your worth, your self-esteem. It clouds the skies and makes you see only darkness and sunless days.
Carmen has been through enough and she has yet to find any kind of reason to think beyond how
worthless she is in the grand scheme of things. Such a contrast to who I thought she was back in the
pack days of the mountain.
Maybe after this is over, when we find the witch, when we break the spell, and life can somehow get
back to a semi level of calm, she might start to see it's not always bad. She'll be with us in the
homestead and our gentler, calmer way of life. Where the pack look out for each other and genuinely
care about maintaining the safety and peace to thrive. We can't stop the war from happening but with
us, at the stead, a new life, safety, and free from people like Juan, maybe she will start to heal. With
time to grieve, time to process everything that has happened in the past months, with support from me,
Colton, and the subs. This time we owe it to her to be better as her pack. They all do.
Maybe she might find love the normal way with one of the wolves she never paid much attention to
before. It happens. There are enough of them that she maybe never really gave all of them a second
look or a chance while they stood in Colton's shadow. I can hope anyway. It will ease my guilt if I know
she found someone to replace what she lost, what I took, and gives her some small sense of happy.
"You two, seriously.... gawd. Someone's trying to sleep over here." Meadow sits up, rubbing her eyes
and I frown at her, not impressed with her complete lack of empathy when it comes to Carmen, but she
smiles, catching me off guard and shoves Carmen in the shoulder a little harshly. "Could you stop being
such a drag, bringing the mood down and be a little bit thankful that I haven't kicked your ass into touch
yet." She jests , yawns and tries to stifle it with a clenched fist before settling herself lazily upright.
"You could try!" Carmen glares at Meadow, that snidey bitchy tone back in place and that aura of frost,
but Meds just smirks at her with equal sass.
"Oh, baby girl, I wouldn't need to try...I already know you would be a two second flick of the wrist. Don't
put too much value on your skills when you're up against me, Puta."
"Meadow, really?" I blanche, startled at her meanness and even calling her that after all this time,
wishing these two would stop and just not wrapping my head around Meds lack of compassion when it
comes to Carmen.
"Relax, Luna. I would be worried if she was being nice to me.... I would think she's sick or dying. I can
take Meadow being a bitch, it's what I'm used to." Carmen seems like she's trying to set my mind at
ease, but she can't be because it's Carmen and she's spiky at the best of times. She really can't be
telling me in a roundabout way that this is okay and expected.
"Well, skanky puta, as long as we all know where we stand, heh?" Meadow grins again, catlike and
smug, getting the same level of hostility as before when these two clashed as tempers heat subtly. It
seems there's an undercurrent of brewing fire as Carmen sighs and eyerolls dramatically, seemingly
more irritated than annoyed.
"And here I thought that specific nickname was left at the mountain... Guess you really did miss me,
Sweetie pie." Carmen flexes her shoulders and glances at Meadow who only winks in a mock kind of
sarcastic way, the flirt in her showing face because she uses it when the fight starts to flex.
"Why, when it suits you so well." She flutters her lashes at the other girl and pouts her lips in an almost
kissy kissy manner. I just stare, wide eyed, mouth gawping at the weirdness that is happening. I think I
might be about to be stuck in a femme fight right here in this cab at this rate and I don't want to see fur
flying.
"Yeah.... Maybe! I was drunk, he was willing, and I was heartbroken. I wanted to wound Colton even an
ounce of what he did to me. I didn't really think it through, or what it would cause. And then.... he didn't
want to know me after. Either of them. That's what I get, huh? I guess I really am a Skanky Puta!"
Carmen mimics Meds heavy accent with the last two words and doesn't sound like she's looking for
sympathy or a fight, just stating facts. I'm silent in dazed awkwardness as these two seem oblivious to
how uncomfy this is getting. Neither giving a toss that they are brewing to battle under the nose of their
so called Luna.
"You play with fire, you get burned, You should have known better than to mess with Colton's family. I
think he could have forgiven anyone else, but not him.... You brought it on yourself and I'm still pissed
at you for it." Meadow huffs, crosses her arms and shoves her feet up on the dash to get comfy.
Meadow's pose is casual, loose, making it clear she really is not intimidated, and this is usually when
you should be the most wary of her. She can turn in a flash and with her speed, calm to death switch in
a blink. I squirm in my seat, trying to visually warn Meds to cool down and back off, my expression
being blanked by her regardless.
"What's new. Meadow being pissed is a daily occurrence. I wouldn't know what you looked like if you
didn't always snarl my way." Carmen eyes me with a slight raise of her brow, not backing down either
and Meadow glares right back at her.
"Don't be making funnies about me puta, I will still own your ass." It's a veiled threat with intent and the
air notches up in degrees as I begin to feel hot. I can't even with the swirling toxic smog around me
coming from both sides. Wriggling as I feed on their hostile moods.
"Yeah yeah.... Like anything you can do would be worse than anything Juan did. I'm not as scared of
you as I once was." Carmen sighs and points at a road sign for a turning that isn't clear, with both
arrows signing for our destination and Meadow sits up to gesture to the left, nodding she should go that
way as she swivels her head and looks around to be certain. A break in the standoff as focus is
redirected and then returns to battle mode as soon as she sits back.
"I think I could make that change." Meadow grins salaciously and this time I've had enough of this
almost testosterone like pissing competition of strangeness.
"Enough. Meds, behave. Carmen, ignore her. Can we maybe go back to silence and my brain can be
saved from a second headache." I sigh, tired, weary still, and not wanting to spend the rest of this drive
listening to these two out bitch one another with threats of violence.
"Know your place. Lorey is MY best friend... she don't need any more femmes in her circle!" Meadow
spits, annoyed that I stuck up for Carmen in a way, her ego bruised, and her feelings bashed as she
turns back to curl up against me possessively. Linking her arm in mine with a tug and settling her head
on my shoulder back in the position she slept. She fully hems me into my corner and turns her body, so
her butt faces Carmen and she snorts in disgust at her.
I giggle as it hits me full frontal and completely lifts my mood. Meadow is jealous! That's what all this
posturing is and why she changed her tune so god damn fast once we hit the road. It's as cute as when
Colton gets territorial and ridiculous over equally absurd things and I beam, enveloped in affectionate
warmth that my crazy Chica is sulking over this.
Her asking Carmen along at the house changed rapidly when she realized I was not being hostile and
asked her to give Carmen a chance. I see it now, why she's being so cold and looking to upset the girl.
I stopped hating on her and have shown her a modicum of compassion, and Meadow is a hot fiery
Latino with a green streak a mile high at times. All this, Meadow is being very wolf in her possessive
and almost territorial protection of a femme she considers her family. I may not be her mate, but she's
my momma wolf, my sister, my best friend, and she doesn't like it one bit that I'm trying to let Carmen
redeem herself. I laugh inwardly and hug Meds with a little more force than necessary and shake my
head at her.
I love you, you crazy femme. God, I now know what Cesar deals with if you ever see someone as a
threat, and I bet this is nowhere near the intensity of what he deals with. She will never replace you....
stop with the hostility.
I mind link her so Carmen doesn't hear and Meadow frowns at me accusingly, that sulky hint of a
tantrummy child all over her pouted pretty face. Her eyes blazing with fire.
Just don't get too cozy and remember which sister always had your back. I don't need a sob story to
make you care about me... this bitch better realize we come as a pair and she's a temporary add on.
Oh Meds, you're impossible but I love you. I have to hold in my beaming smile, twisting in my seat to
stare out the window while I cover the urge to laugh and chide her verbally.
You better love me more than everyone else, with exception to Cole. Or I may stick that skank under
the truck and drive over her a couple hundred times.
"Go back to sleep. I want to nap too." I warn her affectionately, being verbal and letting Carmen hear so
she knows she's about to get peace once more. I dismiss Meadow's behavior and curl back into
position, wrapping my arm around her snugly. She throws Carmen a sideways glare and then smirks as
she nuzzles against me and closes her eyes. She really is hopeless.
Without her mate to take all this attention and jealous swirling affection, I guess I may have to deal with
the heightened version until we get our pack back. Truth is I feel sorry for Carmen in all of this and wish
Meds would just ease up for now.
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