John was certainly pushing the limit of his restraint.
After all, the woman of his dreams was standing before him.
He never expected that she would declare her love for him so openly, or go this far for him.
There was a split second when he wanted to drop all pretenses and gather her firmly in his arms, never
letting her go ever again.
However, he had learnt his lesson-he refused to take risks after the mess with Jessica in the past, and
he wouldn’t joke around when Cordy and Dicky’s lives were on the line.
Nana would only become more radical than Jessica.
As such, he ultimately chose indifference. “Nana saved me. I can’t abandon her.”
Cordy felt her chest covered in pain.
Her heart couldn’t accept it, even if she knew that John was cold to her because he did not remember
that past.
“You won’t be happy if you keep holding on to what you owe her, instead of love,” she told him. “The
distance between you and her would only grow further, and staying with her would only hurt both of
you.”
“But she’ll die if I don’t stay with her,” John made himself very clear.
“Are you that afraid of letting her die?” Cordy asked savagely.
“Like I said, she saved me.”
Cordy scoffed. “So you’re going to forfeit your own life for her?”
“As I should.”
“What about me? So you’re just going to disappoint me?”
“I’m sorry,” John apologized.
He wanted to chase her off with just that.
“Lucas, do you know who you really are-’
“I don’t want to know,” John said, cutting her short as ruthlessly as he could. “For me, knowing more
would only hurt me more. Say nothing if you want to live well.”
Cordy’s eyes welled with tears right then.
John’s cold reaction pierced her heart deeply.
Even so, John continued determinedly, “I admit that I came to you first, and that I cheated on Nana. I
even considered the idea to dump her and be with you. But now my mind’s clear. Whether it’s
responsibility or love I feel towards Nana, I’m choosing her with no uncertainty, and that’s not going to
change.”
Ultimately, Cordy couldn’t stop her tears from falling.
She used to think courtship was easy, and even easier if it was John.
As it turned out, courtship was painfully difficult.
“I can only apologize, Cordy,” John remained impassive, as if it didn’t hurt him-there was not much
emotion even as he said something so callous.
“If you know who you are, you’d definitely regret it…”
“Like I said, I know nothing, and there’s no reason to know,” John replied.” It does nothing aside from
adding to my troubles. If you really love me and want the best for me, stop troubling me. Don’t try to
use your emotions to blackmail me, because it’d just hurt me further.”
Hurt him further?
Loving him troubled him?
“Let’s pretend not to know each other,” John said.
“But…”
“I hope you won’t come to me ever again, Cordy.” John didn’t give her a chance to speak at all.
His cutthroat attitude made her fall apart.
Cordy bit her lip—she had her dignity, and she couldn’t prostrate herself endlessly.
“You’ll regret this, John Levine,” she said, and started to leave, wheeling herself out as fast as she
could and suddenly knocking herself over.
It would seem like the reason was because she was going too quickly…but she actually did it on
purpose.
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