‘’A meaningless screw for our own pleasure.’’ I add hoping he gets that I mean nothing kinky. I won’t let
him possess me that way and this is unemotional and a means to an end. An itch that needs to be
scratched to eradicate tension. That is all it is.
‘’Sounds fine to me, turn around.’’ He commands and without thought I do it, not really contemplating
the request then jump when he catches both my wrists from behind me and pulls them back behind me
roughly. Instant fear from both him being behind me and what he does.
‘‘What are you doing?’’ I yank them free and turn back on him in panic, meeting a smirk of amusement
as he drapes his tie over my shoulders casually. All my reverse cylinders are firing full throttle in an
instant.
‘‘What do you think? Tying you up, fucking you from behind, over that.’’ He nods at the low table and
then makes a turning motion with his hand as though it’s a reasonable request and I am just being
obtuse. I refuse to budge this time, taking his tie from my shoulder and throwing it at the couch instead
and plastering a firm look on my face. Everything in me going weak with nerves but I won’t let him see
it. Also ignoring the fact he doesn’t seem to think I need any sort of foreplay or time to work up to being
pounded—but that’s another issue to the one we have here.
‘‘No!’’ I say it sternly with emotion rising in my throat. Both at the thought of being bound and a flicker of
a memory I’m trying so hard to squeeze out. I push it down hard and he just tilts his head at me.
‘‘No? You’re telling me no?’’ He turns me again laughing in disbelief, shaking his head and completely
dismissing my refusal.
A look of stubborn reigning in. He takes my shoulder firmly, turning me against my will, only this time he
runs his hand around my waist and then one on my back and pushes me forward, so I’m knocked to
lean over and plant my hands on the coffee table in surprised response. He’s manoeuvring me to do
what he wants and treating this exactly like he probably treats all sex. No asking or gentle coaxing, no
romance or two adults being equally involved; just bend over and let me screw you my way, completely
disregarding my refusal in any way. This is why he gives no shits about foreplay. He’s a selfish lover
that sees women as a means to an end and doesn’t care if they even enjoy it. it’s all about him.
‘’Can’t half tell you always get your own way.’’ I shove him back aggressively, bile rising in my throat
from that ache of unease coursing through me now and get myself upright again, moving out of reach
of his hand as he goes to catch me, and I hold up a finger. That growing sense of anxiety like a heavy
pit inside of me at his insistence to get behind me. I just can’t.
‘‘No!’’ I snap at him and this time he looks mildly pissed, more than just pig-headed. Surprised, yet
pissed nonetheless. I doubt any woman in his entire life has ever told him ‘no’ besides his own mother.
‘’Now what? No tying? No fucking you over the table? Do I need to sit down and write up a list?’’ He
glares at me and my temper spikes at his complete arrogance and what he thinks he owns of my body.
This was a consensual agreement and yet it’s all on his terms and his wants, bloody bull brained selfish
prick of a man.
‘’I won’t be treated like one of your doormat sluts, you file in here like a fucking conveyor belt. If you
want to have sex with me then show me some damn respect. I’m not an object, I’m a woman and I
have some say on how I like to be fucked. Stop trying to push me into your shitty bondage crap when I
said no.’’ I hadn’t expected a feminist rant, but he just seems to pull this shit out of me. I don’t care if I
am standing in only a pair of lace underwear; he is making my blood boil.
He laughs sardonically, not looking amused per se, just a tad outraged and probably disbelieving some
mere girl refused him. He just shakes his head at me looking insane and wolfish as his temper begins
to rise.
‘’You fucking serious right now?’’ That tone is very much a pissed Carrero. I know it well, it’s normally in
response to me goading him. I don’t think I have heard him swear in this context before. I wrack my
brains to think if he’s ever sworn in temper and just cannot think of an example off the top of my head
while getting highly anxious. He sounds angry, so therefore I know he’s not demonic about to flip to
psycho angry but still, it does put a little fear into me which feeds my annoyance.
‘’Yes, I am. You said you play by consensual rules and I am giving you my boundaries.’’
I stand my ground despite my lip starting to wobble and I bite on it to hide it. I won’t back down for the
bastard, not when it comes to this. I spent too many years letting others control what happened to my
body.
‘’Fuck this shit.’’
Alexi pushes past me moodily, knocking me sideways so I almost tumble over and grabs his shirt from
the couch in a swipe of aggression. Reverting to spoiled little man-child and throwing an epic tantrum.
He storms to the kitchen and starts slamming around glasses and bottles of booze.
Seems he’s good at making the rules but does not like listening to anyone else’s and I’m surprised he
does actually listen. He is being ridiculous over something so minor. My own temper finds root and
surges like a bushfire.
‘’Oh my fucking God! Are you seriously having a temper tantrum because I won’t let you just use and
abuse my body for your sadistic games?’’ I literally feel all ounces of self-control fly at his boorish,
abusive arsehole act and throw a scatter cushion at his back impulsively. It’s not my crowning glory
moment and as soon as I do it I completely regret it. I always did have a bit of a throwing reflex and as
much as I try to curb it sometimes, it happens all by itself.
It hits him in the back of the head with remarkable aim and he turns like a demon from hell with the
speed of light and completely scowls at me with a rage I didn’t think his face was capable of. Not one of
his normal responses anyway. I guess he is still fragile after his Gino scene.
He furrows his brow so deeply he looks insane and then storms towards me with aggression and speed
that has me backing up to get away, tripping over my own feet and aiming for the nearest exit as
remorse floods me and terror guides me.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Now I know what true fear feels like. He’s faster than I am and as he gets to me I literally panic in all-
out white horror as he grabs me by the wrist. I impulsively slap him in the face in frightened self-
defence, hard enough it makes a horrendous noise and burns my hand half to death with the impact.
Paling as the realisation of what I impulsively did, hits me.
Camilla? What the actual hell did you just do?
It’s a fight or flight reaction and as soon as I do it I swear I just want the ground to open up and take
me; if I thought he was mad before, then the turn from fire to ice makes my entire body turn cold to fluid
in one turn of his head. If evil had a face, then I am looking it in the eye and I literally recoil in complete
angst as that sweep of intimidating calm comes over him. I feel instantly sick with the wave of change
that happens so obviously.
He closes down all hints of emotion and that blank face takes on an eerie smugness. He smirks, rubs
his thumb deliberately and slowly over his lip where the bottom of my palm caught him and looks at me
in the most wrathful way I have ever seen on any face in my whole life. Cold, sinister and calm. His
calculating brain devising a plot to make me suffer. I swear that’s what I summarise in that expression.
I’m frozen to my spot and hold my breath because I think I just unleashed the insane and I have
nowhere to run and nowhere to hide; even if his guards hear my screams they will ignore them. I know
how this world operates and his paid goons are hired to clean up whatever mess he makes while never
judging him for it.
Alexi catches me around the throat like he did earlier and as I gasp in fright and sheer terror, he slams
me back against the wall that I have backed myself up against. Winding me, he’s nose to nose and my
body is completely limp because I know what’s coming and tense for the impact of a beating. I have
been here a million and one times before, except the difference is that I know fighting Alexi is futile, and
he’s got the capability of killing me if I do.
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