Alexi is avoiding me. Party in full swing on our first night and I am completely in control of the event. I
would go as far as saying our first night is a success, minus one tiny little detail …
Tyler, my ex-drug dealer, that beat me half to death has come as a guest; I was too preoccupied
because of Alexi to check the bloody guest list before coming down here to see. Joanne, the tit of a girl,
obviously ignored the list of banned names when looking through this, or else it was deliberate, and
she’s in need of a good slap. It just adds a level of extreme anxiety to my night and has me looking
over my shoulder constantly always aware of where he is.
I may have nothing to fear from him anymore, but he still tried to kill me and that won’t just go away. My
stomach is swirling with nerves knowing he’s here, and I just cannot relax. I keep biting my lip and
picking my nails and then scalding myself for showing my unease so obviously. I’m better than this and
need to get with the program.
So far, I have caught him looking my way more than once and I hope he has the sense to stay away
from me for the rest of the night. I’ll have security beat him to death if he comes too close to me. He’s
getting black-listed after this and Alexi doesn’t seem to have noticed him either.
Alexi is being who I expected him to be though, no surprises there on that front. He’s sitting among a
bunch of suited and booted men, deep in conversation, with a woman gyrating on the table amidst
them all. She keeps lifting her leg and sliding her foot over Alexi’s shoulder to draw his attention
seductively, but so far, he hasn’t actually moved her from table to lap.
Not that I am keeping tabs on him across the room or anything.
He isn’t knocking her back either and the other brunette who keeps sliding up beside him to stroke the
tattoo on his neck and flirt shamelessly isn’t getting rebuffed at all. He hasn’t returned the favour, but it
doesn’t mean he won’t. Alexi likes to work up to picking a playmate and then will just swoop on one and
take her off to be screwed mercilessly. I did what he wanted and plied him with 3 brunettes who are
under orders to play up to him, pander and pet. If he screws them I don’t want to know. They are not
from our pay packet but one time hires for tonight. I wanted him to think I just didn’t care at all, and so
far, he doesn’t seem all that interested in them, surprisingly.
I seem to be more torn up and bothered about them and I should just stop looking his way altogether.
He can do whatever he wants, with whoever he wants. I don’t care.
If I tell myself that enough times maybe the heavy slicing pain in my chest will finally fuck off.
I watch the room, intermingle with guests and keep tabs on the flow of booze and food. Like before, it’s
security that passes out product, and they know the limit per member when it comes to the substances.
They are on specific orders to keep tabs on volume. It’s back in place. Keeping everyone merry, not
wasted and avoiding overdoses.
We want them pliable, not dead.
‘You look pretty.’ Mico sidles up beside me, eyes scanning where Alexi is sitting, always aware of his
cousin and always protecting him, even on a party night. It’s a sense of reassurance knowing Mico is
ever watchful and always on guard.
‘Thank you. It was a tad extravagant, but I figured tonight was a special night.’ I run my hands down my
sparkling dress which keeps catching in the lights and giving off tremendous little flickers and shimmers
as I move. You can’t miss me in the room anyway; I’m like a disco ball.
A classy one, I hope.
‘Back at war, huh?’ He nudges me and then nods at Alexi, who catches my eyes on him and I look
away quickly.
‘Don’t know what you mean. It’s all business over here,’ I answer airily. I won’t show even Mico that
he’s getting to me. I am done being second guessed when it comes to my feelings for that man.
‘Sure, it is. You two are so alike sometimes, it’s terrifying.’ He watches Alexi intensely and I focus on his
profile instead as he then scans the room and comes back to my face.
‘Please … I am not a raving sociopath who beats people out of some sense of ownership.’ I feel a little
insulted to get that comparison.
‘He doesn’t think sometimes, Camilla. He reacts. Jealous and overprotective … You care about him, he
cares about you, yet for some reason, neither of you are capable of putting down the guns for five
minutes to see what could be.’ Mico looks right at me with a frown across that handsome brow as
though trying to push the point, and I just shake my head at him. Wrinkling that forehead as his frown
deepens but it just annoys me on some level and I sigh heavily at him.
‘It’s frustrating to watch.’ He adds with a nudge against me as though it’s going to soften me in some
way.
‘That’s a lie … I told him I loved him, then he let me use HIS gun on MY self. Please don’t try to make
me feel something for him again. It’s dead … this is only about the club, or else I wouldn’t be here.
What he did in Miami was inexcusable and controlling, as usual; Nothing else.’ Despite how cold I
sound, Mico has touched a nerve and any time I think about that night I get the same panging ache in
my heart. That little hurt I just cannot let go of.
Alexi hurt me, he broke me, and when I threw myself at his feet, he let me rot. It’s the one factor that
keeps me clinging to my loathing of the man.
I won’t ever forget that and it’s behind every resentment I feel for him. If he cared about me, even a tiny
ounce of a sliver, he would have come to the hospital to see if I was okay … but he didn’t. Cracked my
skull and left me there, after pushing me to the verge of dying. He didn’t have enough remorse to even
muster being by my bedside for thirty seconds, to make sure I would live, and it’s with me all the time.
Mico exhales heavily, clearly frustrated.
‘Camilla, open your eyes. Alexi doesn’t waste his time on people he gives no shits about, yet he
protects you at every turn. The girls … he’s obviously no interest in them, so I am guessing he asked
for them to just piss you off.’ He nods back his way a lot more forcefully.
‘What are you talking about?’ I turn to Alexi and watch him for a moment as he pushes the brunette
who’s slid onto his lap off, and shoves her away harshly. No nice and friendly manner when dealing
with fuck buddies anyway. Picks up his drink and puts his foot on the table so she can’t do it again. He
doesn’t look like a man who is enjoying the female adoration, and as he is normally exactly that type of
man, it stops me in my tracks. I have no response.
Maybe he’s just not in the mood and maybe they aren’t his type.
‘He pushed you away to protect himself, and you. Everything he has done has been his fucked-up way
of trying to handle a situation, badly. I didn’t get it at first … not until you were gone.’
I look at him like he has two heads. Not pulled in by this BS and definitely not about to fall for some
touching deeper understanding of his cousin. Alexi lacks depth … there is no hidden emotional layer. I
have found that out time and time again.
‘Humiliating me and making me feel worthless? That’s not keeping me safe, that’s just a sadist who
likes to screw your head up. He doesn’t get off on physically hurting women; he gets off on control and
destruction of their emotions and mind. Mico, I adore you … but please. When it comes to Alexi just
accept that I will never let him hurt me again, and you don’t know the half of what he did to me, only
what you witnessed. Your loyalty is cute but misguided, and Alexi is just a cold bastard who sees dollar
signs written all over me. I can live with that, I have accepted it is what it is. What I mean to him.’ I pat
him affectionately on the shoulder. Pushing down all he’s making me feel and refusing to get mad or
upset at this. I slide past behind him, signalling the end of this stressful conversation, to see what the
girl at the bar is flapping her hands at. She is waving at me erratically and distracting me, thankfully.
Mico just lets me walk off with a lingering look of mild agitation and am relieved to let that topic go to
bed.
‘What is it?’ I snap at her when I get close, leaning over the bar and look down to see blood splattered
all over her skirt and shirt. I realise she’s flapping around a sliced finger and there’s a smashed glass
on the floor.
‘For God’s sake, stop that, put something on it and go see Mike at the back door. He is the first aider.’ I
tut at her and slide into the bar via the lift hatch on the counter to take over for a minute. Wiping down
the blood she leaves behind with a cloth and disinfectant spray and chuck it in the sink for her to deal
with.
I take a few minutes to sweep up the glass and clean up her mess before she appears back beside me
with a bandaged hand and a smile on her childish face.
‘Mike’s hot … I so would.’ She blushes, assuming we have some girly camaraderie, and I ignore her as
she heads back to the far end to serve someone who has staggered over. Disinterested in which men
my staff would fuck in here.
I let myself out the open end which leads to the hall and walk smack bang into the smug prick I have
been avoiding all night.
Just bloody great!
Fuck my night!
Not Alexi this time, but Tyler, as he makes his way to the restroom beside the kitchen. It’s like being
shocked with a taser and my blood runs cold as every part of my skin prickles with hatred. I exhale
heavily.
‘Well, well, look what the cat dragged in?’ He slurs my way, obviously intoxicated and the stench of
booze on his breath hits me in the face. He looks me up and down, blocking my escape and leans out
in front of me with a hand on the wall, so I can’t get past. Dressed like a typical street goon in a cheap
suit and tie, a little step up from his usual attire but still … he looks like shit.
I take a deep breath and try not to show him that every part of my body has hit the adrenaline shakes,
and my mind is practically clawing at me to get the hell away from him—instant claustrophobia. I stand
taller, rest my hands across my chest as I cross them and do a good job of holding my own.
‘Tyler.’ I try for polite and lift my chin a little higher, refusing to be intimidated by this creep, even if he
did try to kill me and dump me in the river. My time with him is long gone, he’s nothing compared to
Alexi in terms of torment. If I can handle Carrero, then Tyler is nothing but an irritating fly in my soup.
‘Camilla, Camilla.’ He slurs again, obviously a little lax on the booze, and he takes a long, slow, sleazy
appraisal of me. Eye raping me disgustingly and let’s his putrid eyeballs nestle on my tits for the
longest time.
‘Can I help you with something?’ I try not to show my obvious hatred for the moron or the way my skin
is crawling; Business tone on and a charming fake smile—Hostess under pressure.
‘Check you, looking all Queen Carrero in his little kingdom. Never pegged you for the manager type.
What did you do to win the big guy’s favour? Bend over and take it anytime he wants it to get this job?
Suck him off like the pro you are and wrap him around those little fingers, you devious bitch.’ He laughs
at his own comment, a snarly, almost creepy smile, and I just push down the urge to punch him in the
throat. Obvious jealousy that someone he deemed fish food found a higher standing than him in his
own world. That must bite like a bitch.
‘Classy. Can see you have no concept of someone’s usefulness.’ I sigh heavily again and try to move
past him to get away from this agonising conversation, but he blocks my way for a second time. Moving
himself physically in front of me and halts my passing. I simmer my anger and try to just hold my shit
together.
‘I remember how useful you were … makes me get an ache in my pants. Baby, you look so very
fuckable in this get up.’ He breathes on my face, leaning forward, and I lean back away from it.
Dodging booze stink and trying not to gag at both his shit come on lines and the smell of the little rat.
‘Fuck off Tyler, go have a wank somewhere that’s not my club. No one needs to witness those levels of
horror.’ I try for a third attempt to get past him, but he blocks me again, bodily moving in right against
me this time, running a grubby finger down my arm and I shrink away, slapping at it.
‘Don’t touch me!’ I warn, hackles rising as irritation moves to anger at the nerve of him. I hate that the
creep still thinks he has a right to put a hand on me.
‘Touch you? I used to have these pretty red lips wrapped around my dick anytime I wanted. I miss
them, figured when Carrero tosses you in the trash we might make ourselves a new little arrangement.’
He runs his finger up over my lips and I recoil as though he has just burned me; Shoving his fingers
away with so much rage swimming through me. Despising the very air he breathes.
He literally makes my skin crawl and I step back, putting some space between us and cringe visibly.
Nausea swirling up from both anxiety and the fact he is vile.
‘Look, baby. I sucked your tiny little prick because I had no alternative to get what I needed. It was so
bad; I think I might only eat girls for the rest of my life. You left me traumatised. Not even battery acid
could remove the taste of your rotten shrimp from my mouth, for months.’ I flutter my lashes at him
innocently, words steeped in venom, and that nasty snarl spreads across his face as fury ignites.
‘Soon as he cuts you loose, you and I are going to play. Put you back where you belong. Your face in
my lap.’ He grinds his teeth at me, obviously angered and losing his cool. The threat in the tone is
genuine and he means every word.
As much as I stand and smirk and act like I don’t care, the rage inside of me is eating me up. I open my
mouth to retort with a sassy put-down to show this little prick where his place is, and then jump when
Alexi’s voice moves in behind me. My body freezes with the approach of body heat at my back and
then strangely sags as soon as I know for sure it’s him. I can sense it’s him, even without his voice, and
I physically relax. Not triggered with him behind me the way I normally am, because he signals safety.
Tyler is in so much trouble now.
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