Tears blind me as the elevator hits the ground floor and I take a moment to compose myself fully. Using
the backs of my hands to stem the tears and blot my face without smearing it more. Trying to use the
reflection of the chrome doors to clean myself up and wipe my liner and mascara from under my eyes
and hide them mess on the black part of my dress. I have always been good at a quick recovery and
manage to bring myself to calm and presentable in mere minutes of deep breaths and gulps. Shaking
myself, pushing the pain into a deep dark hole that is turning my body icy and my heart numb. Hysteria
drying up as logic boots me in the arse.
You should have seen this coming, Camilla. You should have never believed in him.
I make my way through the hall, head down to avoid security taking a good look and glad Jackson isn’t
milling around here. He has a day off. I slide into the main part of the club which is crowded with staff
doing the daily prep for tonight, and I’m aware of the looks and questioning stares I’m getting.
I cannot hide that I’m upset, because frankly, my makeup must be blotchy as hell in this light. I’m
always very precise with it, so looking streaky is a major tell. I head for the bar to grab some tissues
and avoid looking directly at any of them as I do so. I don’t want to go back up and fix my face, I’m
hoping I can just pass this off as nothing.
“Ouch … watch it.” Hoe-Anne snaps at me bitchily, that constipated face of hers glaring my way as I
collide with her, not paying attention to her walking towards me, and then snarl at the smug, dog’s
dinner vomited up twice look on her face as I pull back. Ugly souls really do make ugly faces.
The reminder that she was one of his whores hits me ten times more than it ever has, and I look
around me suspiciously, suddenly realising that any of the women in this room could have been with
him last night. They are all devious backstabbing opportunists who use sex to lure men. It’s why we
hired them. She could be here laughing at me from afar.
I wrack my brain to think of who was missing as I scan faces and dismiss the rank letch in front of me
with a shove out of my way. I have no interest in her and blur out her protest and insult as she trots off
away from me. That anger I felt upstairs rips through me a hundred-fold, with an intensity that turns my
blood to molten lava. Faces running through my brain of the staff I thought had more sense than to
cross me.
I know it wasn’t Hoe-Anne as I saw her many times through the night, so it had to be someone on the
rota who wasn’t needed. I glare passed the skanky po-faced boot walking around glaring my way and
look at the girls wandering around with hoovers and dustpans. My head clouding with that red mist
once more.
A couple of the toms are here to get their rooms how they like them, and as I watch, I’m overcome with
furious jealousy all over again. That kick to my gut once again. The tears completely shrivel into a dark
depth of ashy hell and evaporate as that inner demon I possess moves in with a deathly chill, she is a
queen at possessing.
The ‘me’ who has been sleeping for far too long. That wicked, cold bitch who will let no one fuck with
her. She raises her calculating head and views the room with the eye of a nuclear vessel who has her
radar pinging on all targets. Scowling hatefully at the girls I thought I could rely on.
“Cam … a word.” Alexi’s voice cuts into my thoughts, disrupting them with a sharp yank of my brain
back to the present and I throw my head over my shoulder to catch sight of him wandering in.
He looks less angry, but as I’m on an Armageddon ten strike mode, I just sneer and turn away from
him, walking another few steps to widen the gap and stand in the middle of my club. Making it clear he
gets zero chance at talking to me and I want him to leave me alone. I’m figuring out which whore gets
her ass handed to her and the two of them can go fuck off together.
People rush around manically to look busier now he has appeared and it’s obvious to everyone some
sort of ‘Camlexi’ battle is brewing. Last time they felt this much fury in the room he chased me down the
hall wearing my breakfast. The thought of that cross just fuels my fire and every shitty mean thing he
ever did to me in the past is all the ammo I need.
I can feel him making his way towards me, his presence affecting me as it does and do a quick glance
of the room for an avenue of escape, so he doesn’t get a chance. There isn’t one. He has men on the
doors, all the exits and the way back upstairs are behind him and I have a room full of staff. The only
way to make Alexi fuck off is to draw attention to us in a major way. He won’t make a scene if all eyes
are on me.
“Can I have your attention everyone?” I call out loudly over the humdrum of busy noise, stupidly
nervous and completely impulsive in a bid to make him stop walking at me. Out of the corner of my
eye, I catch Alexi halting mid-step as he freezes at the unexpected nature of my reaction. Mico appears
behind him and stops in his tracks too, as the attention of everyone in the room turns to me and the
noise drops to a freakish silence in a blink. You could hear a pin drop and it’s eerie as hell. Suddenly
the centre of focus and everyone looks to me and then the two awkward men in the bar’s passage
looking like they just got hit with headlights. Alexi for once looks uncomfortable and tries to relax his
posture to appear unaffected. Mico looks concerned, face dropping and brows joining. He knows
something is brewing.
I take one last glance toward Hoe-Anne, fury in my veins fuelling what I’m doing and do a sweep of all
the female faces in the room surrounding me one last time, none the wiser to which slut is getting
slapped. One of these tarts was with him last night and I’m done being fucked around by this Carrero.
No more. He doesn’t get to use women and sex to hurt me ever again.
I look right at him for a long cold moment, to regain that hurt from upstairs, pulling myself together and
mustering all my hatred in one scathing glare before turning back to my employees with an evil smirk
as my plan formulates in my brain.
Fake bravado in my posture and pushing as much strength into my voice as I can. I repeat to myself.
You are an ice queen. You have more skill than this.
“Thanks, dahlings. I just wanted everyone to take a moment and give me your undivided attention. I
promise it will only take a second and then you can all toddle off back to your little jobs.” I sound
brighter than I feel and that ability to act my way out of everything moves in and expertly seeps into my
persona. She’s still in there. Months of suffering and rebuilding myself because of this man and one
little betrayal brings her back in all her glory.
Camilla has suffered the death of her heart all over again. I feel nothing in the space it was beating
anymore but ice queen has found her crown.
There’s a shuffle of murmurs as they exchange questioning glances, and some look at Alexi to see if
he is part of this unexpected announcement. I often rally my staff in small groups to assign them jobs,
but I’ve never addressed the whole room this way, and I can see many worried looks developing over
many faces.
They’re worried, as they should be.
I’m in no mood for screwing around.
There is a scurry of noise as two of the escorts walk in the front door late for their shift and I wait a
moment until they realise, I’m standing here. Eyes on them coolly and I tap my nail on my watch and
point for them to go stand by the others.
“If you could join us for a minute, that would be lovely. This concerns all of you.”
Confused little glances before they scurry apologetically to the rest of the group and turn to face me,
whispering questions and getting shrugs in response. They haven’t missed it yet. No one has a clue
about what I’m doing, not even Alexi.
I can feel his eyes eating into me and I feel nothing but numb and cold emptiness at that.
My confidence is dying but that fire in me is keeping me going, aware all eyes are on me and even the
male security is milling in the background listening. I feel sick and my heart is hammering in my chest,
but I’m not backing down now. The moment I do he will swoop in on me and I want this to be
memorable.
I wait for a second as I steady my hands and clear my throat. Breathe in slowly to centre myself and lift
that defiant chin a little higher. Flicking my bright red hair back sassily. Nerves getting the better of me
for a second, but I remind myself of why I’m doing this.
He wants to treat me like a side chick … he wants to fuck me around … he can suffer the
consequences. I won’t be kept a secret anymore; one final ‘here I am’ before he can go fuck himself. In
the room he humiliated me in, in front of Hoe-Anne many months ago, seems poetic somehow. I won’t
be a dirty secret he hides in the shadows and treats like shit anymore. One last centre stage bow and
then I’m gone. Leave him in my dust, and everyone else too, with a memorable departure.
“So … as your boss and part owner of the club, I feel it is very important I should only employ staff I
feel I can rely on. I figured the best way to do that would be to ask you all a simple question. Sort of
reconfirm loyalty, thin out the herd and kill off the sickly ones, so to speak.” I start my little speech,
smoothing out my dress to regain my composure and hide any doubts. Still, the silence prevails. I take
my time and just blank him out of my peripheral view. I can see Mico’s arm on his from behind and can
tell he is being told not to react or intervene.
Mico has no idea.
“A lot has changed since I first came here to get this place up and running, a lot of changes to my
personal situation and even my standing in this endeavour. I feel like we have come a very long way
and I know many of you are new staff and may not be aware of just how important my role is here. I
now own fifty percent of the building and business you are standing in and have control of all that
happens on this floor. I have the last word, as Alexi agreed.”
There’s a little gentle gasp and wave of whispers as those who didn’t know, get up to speed. A lot of
shifty looks from Hoe-Anne as it dawns on her that I’m more than just an appointed hostess who tries
to make her life hell; I own that bitch’s arse and have been paying her wage for weeks. It feels great to
see that little titbit spread across her face in the most soul-crushing expression of ‘oh shit’, followed by
‘this sucks arse.’
The noise simmers down and I wait for that intense silence once more before I continue, staring
straight ahead at the main huddle of staff and try to keep my shit together. I can feel his penetrating
gaze from afar. The waves of his energy and aggressive aura affecting me even over here.
Cheating fucker.
“One of the changes happens to be very personal and affects the people I can have in my employment
from here on in. I do hope you will all understand as it’s down to that, that I need to take a moment to
ask you all to do something.”
I swallow as I try to find the willpower to keep going. This is for Alexi; a message, a brave move to
show him I won’t take this bullshit lying down. He wants a queen I will show him a fucking queen! Then
when he explodes and does what he does in the name of punishment, I will have my complete and
absolute reason for walking away and never looking back.
“I would love for you to be completely honest with me, it’s easy to find out if you lie … I mean we do
have someone to corroborate the truth over there.” I nod at Alexi smugly, gesturing his way and draw
all eyes to his presence to leave them in no doubt. Summoning the courage to look at him. I catch the
serious confusion and questioning that sweeps over his face as he attempts to pull apart my motives
and intentions. He has no clue what I’m doing and standing ready to march over to me, poised and
bristling with rage. I know that I better get on with it. He gets within a foot of me and he will drag me
kicking and screaming to God knows where. This is going to be ugly and I have already set my sight on
the front door as a way to get out.
I take a deep breath and just let it out.
“Could you raise your hand please if you have ever dated, kissed, shared oral sex or fucked Alexi
Carrero. Promptly if you would.” It’s out in a very rushed, clipped, breathless yet cheerful and polite
tone, that completely goes against how I’m feeling inside.
I just died a little. The words take what’s left of my crumbling soul and blow them away on the wind. It
hurts more than I thought it would and I brace myself for the truth I’m about to see.
The shocked silence, the face on my ex-man as he goes from bewildered to ‘what the fuck are you
doing?’ then rage completely consumes his whole manner. He can’t hide his reaction.
Mico’s hands appear on both his shoulders from behind and I guess he is taming the beast who wants
to come over and snap my neck. Stopping the lurch forward I catch in that powerful body. Restraining
him and for a moment I’m thankful Mico is as big and strong as his crazy cousin.
I act like I can’t see him and focus back on the room. Inwardly shaking, nerves dying because I know I
have crossed a line you cannot come back from. All that old fear and uncertainty about his character
back in full swing. The deep dread of knowing I’m unleashing his beast.
My staff stand in stupefied silence for a second until one brainless bimbo lifts her hand hesitantly, all
while staring at Alexi. It draws me back and gives me something else to concentrate on. It’s almost like
she is afraid not to and one by one a few others do the same. They know he is watching, and he knows
which little bitches he has had his hands on. Which vaginas his dick has graced. Which mouths have
pleasured his dick.
They lie—they fucking die.
I can’t hold the swirl of nausea or the light-headed sway that passes over me, but I hold my ground and
raise my brows with a tight smile. I won’t show him I care.
I won’t care. Not anymore.
There aren’t many, a lot less than I expected to be honest, and I throw a stern ‘you better not be lying’
around the room and scratch out one more near the front. Even so, it’s a dire and low number for what I
expected, and it won’t be hard to replace these women soon. The faces are pale, worried, regretting
their own weakness and everyone is glancing nervously from me to him with a shocked ‘are they a
thing?’ look.
I feel nothing but that twinge of ache coming back tenfold as I look at the array of women before me. All
mousy types with severe ‘yes sir’ complexes and one or two are professional submissives. Not one of
them anything like me in looks or demeanour. He likes the good little obedient ones who don’t stand out
too much for being stunning either. I guess they are the type he can keep quiet when screwing them
behind my back.
Everyone in this room now knows what he and I are, or they suspect anyway. How could they not after
this?
Screw him and his secrets. His enemies already know I’m a target so outing this isn’t going to change a
damned thing. I’m already in danger.
Alexi looks livid, his face deadpan but there’s a hint of a sneer and a dark cloud of ‘I’m going to fucking
kill her’ oozing out of him and I get an ounce of satisfaction that I got to him. He might self-implode
when I get on with it. Worth it to get under his skin before he completely ruins me.
“Thanks … oh, you too, dahling. We all know you are a dirty stop out that fucked him over there.” I
stare right at Hoe-Anne who is trying to hide behind a girl on my left and she almost trips over her own
feet as I single her out. All heads turn to her and her wide-eyed look to Alexi gets her no back up at all.
He just turns towards me and shakes his head—deathly slow, precise, eyes locked on his target. It’s all
in the eyes. He is beyond furious, blood boiling manic type of mad, and his pupils are the size of
pinholes. He looks exactly like the demonic schizoid who used to terrify me. That fear stirring down low
once more, and I know we can’t ever fix this.
I don’t want to. I’m worth more than being betrayed. He made me see that for a short time.
I deserve more than this. I am worthy of being loved properly.
That signal of ‘I’m verging on volcanic right now and I may actually strangle you in front of these
people’ just pulls a sarcastic smile out of me. Good at pretending, hiding the fact I’m quaking in my
shoes.
Hoe-Anne finally raises a feeble hand that’s so pathetic I eye roll. It’s slow, hesitant and totally
unnecessary as I already know what a loose vagina’d hoe she is. She let him fuck her in front of the
entire club. Says it all really.
“Good, are we all done? Anymore? Don’t be shy. I will fire you for lying so it’s better to just get it off
your chest. All relationships need trust, don’t they, dahling?” I turn and throw a very pointed look at my
so-called ex-man, drilling that point into his face with a blue-eyed gaze that could cut glass. His face
twitches as he suppresses the explosive temper growing inside of him and loses what control he has of
his cool demeanour for a second. Mico once again keeping a tight rein on him. I’m humiliating him in
front of all his bitches, just like he did to me. I’m the one in control right now … in my room, in my club,
and my staff. See how he likes it.
There’s a gasp, another rumble of hushed voices and the heaving inhale of a couple more. One more
girl lifts a coy hand.
“Which one of you was out with him last night?” I add as an afterthought and there’s a puzzled look
around from many heads and worried chatter as they whisper accusations. One girl finally moves
forward from the back, a nobody from the toms who specialises in role play. She looks me up and down
and then to Alexi, as though wondering what the hell I’m on and I smile brightly. Completely unfazed.
“You didn’t raise your hand!” I point out coldly but with an evil smile aimed at her ample bust, disgusted
with her lack of remorse. She looks annoyed.
Either way, I’m about to show him he can’t lie anymore: she is right here to out his bullshit. Truth always
has a way of coming out.
“I didn’t think I needed to … it was business, not a real date. Nothing happened.” She tries in her
defence and I admit it startles me at first, but I’m beyond caring and for all I know, he coached her on
how to respond should I ever find out. I’m done with this shit. Irritated by her, him, all of them. Unwilling
to believe this and disappointed that she would cover for him.
“You’re all fired. Get your shit and get out of my club. You have twenty minutes if you expect to get paid
for today.” I wave my hand airily towards them all, fuelled by the insta-rage of her answer. Anger and
something else swirling up into my stomach and down my limbs. A little tremble of doubt, but I push it
away and stomp it to death. Refusing to be swayed. I lift my hand and point one finger at her as the last
show of my power. Dismissing what she said as unimportant.
“You too, sweet cheeks … bu-bye.” I wave at her and then turn on my heel, so I’m facing Alexi, and
blank all of them now I have done what I intended. Acting smug and cross my arms across my chest in
a manner he knows only too well. Camilla is on the warpath and willing to take that crap, head on. I
may be shitting myself inside with what I know is coming but I will not back down and show him fear.
I’m done being his doorstep.
“I swear …” Alexi’s snarly, low husky voice echoes towards me and Mico hastily turns him around and
half hauls him out of the room quickly. Enveloped into a flurry of men at Mico’s command and he exits
from sight swiftly.
I can sense the rage and aggression like a huge black hole sucking the air out of his space as he
leaves and I shiver, knowing what I’ve started. This will get the punishment I goaded him for so long
ago. If anything brings about the worst of him it’s this right here, and I may finally get my answer on
whether someone like him can ever really change. Not that it matters anymore. The second he
cheated; we were done.
I turn my attention back to the room and the stony figures who have made no movement.
“Chop, chop. Get to it or every fucking one of you will be joining them.” I smile when there is an
immediate jump to attention and people scurry around to get back to what they were doing before.
Every single body flees in various directions, minus the ones who just got their marching orders. They
look to one another bewildered before Miss Escort heads to the back room where they keep lockers,
resigned that she is done here, and all of them follow. I’m thrilled to see Rebel is not one of them. She
looks amused, smirking as she watches a couple of the less friendly girls stomp off like huffing queens
and shakes her head after them.
“That’s what they get for fucking with the boss’s boyfriend. I hope she cuts his balls off too.” I hear her
murmur across the room to the girl next to her, before patting her on the arse and shooing her into
action. I catch her eye as she makes a move and there’s a pause. She nods at seeing me staring, a
small confident smile almost like a show of respect before she turns and walks off, leaving me feeling
strangely thankful to her.
I have hopes for that girl, and now I know she hasn’t been near Alexi, I can be sure I found myself a
new hostess when I leave this place far behind me. I may be walking away but I still own half and I’m
taking the money that’s mine. I don’t need to be here to pick up a paycheck from earnings. I deserve it
for what he has put me through. He owes me.
“You can’t do this to me.” Hoe-Anne sidles up behind me, furious and spitting teeth, that ugly puss of
hers chattering away like a demented animal. Finally finding her backbone to have it out with me.
I sigh and look her over with a superior snort.
“I’ve already done it. Get your crap together and vacate my premises before I have my men throw you
out on your skanky cheap arse. It’ll give me so much joy seeing you manhandled and literally tossed
outside.” I turn to ignore her as I walk to the bar, tapping the surface and pointing at the vodka,
basically telling her to fuck off. She has the sense not to follow and a quick glance shows a tearful
tramp standing statue still instead.
Good riddance to bad smells.
The tender rushes to fix me a drink. Eyes on the task and not on me.
My nerves are shot, my mind’s on exactly how Alexi will react to this, and my palms are sweaty.
Needless to say, this will be an eventful afternoon when I finally face him. He’s probably working
himself into all sorts of heinous thoughts and vile moods and probably dusting off his straps and chains
as we speak.
“Who the fuck do you think you are? I busted my ass for this club while you were gone, done
everything asked of me since and you treat me like this!” The little witch has finally found her venom,
came running back to try again and I literally sink in my seat. Cannot be bothered anymore. I turn and
look her up and down as though she is something vile stuck to my shoe. I note she has a cheap
copycat of my favourite black shift dress on and is sporting a very suspect shade of red lippy.
Pale comparison.
“I think I am your ex-boss and that you are boring me. Go away little gnat before I swat you with
something heavy. Like Matt here’s fist, right in your throat.” I graciously accept my vodka straight and
throw in some ice from the dispenser on the bar, doing my best to ignore the wench twitching about like
a weirdo beside me. Her version of anger is more like an aggravated panda. Not very intimidating at all.
“Just say the word, Miss Walters.” Matt winks back at me, all blonde-haired and blue-eyed charm. I just
giggle under my breath and sip my booze. No one ever really liked her here, and I’ve been a pretty
straightforward employer where Matt is concerned. Never gave him reason to hate me.
“Alexi won’t let you fire me just like that. You’ll see. I’m a part of this club. He cares about me.” She
spits her dummy rather pathetically and I sigh again, realising this isn’t deterring her and turn to her
slowly and deliberately. Practised mannerisms kicking in and slide one leg over the other in a sexy
glide.
“You thought you had your claws in him, didn’t you? Well, he brought me back to do the job you were
failing at because, frankly, he said you were shit. I don’t think he just meant at running his club either.” I
raise my brow and open my eyes widely in a sarcastic and catty way as if to say, ‘oh dear, how
embarrassing’ and then look down at her crotch and raise my brow even higher. That snide tone I excel
at.
“Fuck you. You think I don’t know you two have been shacked up since you returned? I’m not stupid.
It’s obvious, and you deserve each other. Two poisonous assholes with vile personalities that
completely deserve the unhappiness they will bring.” A scathing attempt to hurt my feelings and I just
giggle at her. A ridiculous little imp with awful fashion sense and no real idea of how to be classy.
“I’ll drink to that.” I smile brightly and raise my glass obnoxiously.
“Well, he did mention marriage last night so that may just happen. Go away Hoe-Anne, your presence
is no longer required. I have important things to do.”
“Screw you. I will sue you for unfair dismissal.” She spits at me childishly, losing what’s left of her cool,
and I burst out into a proper, deep hearty laugh at that. Right from the soles of my feet. Insides
loosening with the actual amusement at her empty threats. It releases some of my tension, and I have
to compose myself to respond.
“Go right ahead. Sue Alexi Carrero for firing you from his underground, illegal sex club after you got
found out, for publicly fucking him in front of New York’s most powerful men, including the mayor. See
how far you get. I’m guessing your story would end in the bottom of the river, wearing concrete boots
and filling the fish’s bellies for a few days. You should really learn how to pick your enemies, love.” It’s
too funny to be true and we both know she wouldn’t find a single lawyer in this city who would touch a
case against any Carrero in this side of the family business. She would disappear faster than you could
blink for trying to stir up that sort of a shit storm. I sincerely hope she does, just to know her lifespan
was short.
“Good luck with your life tied to him. He isn’t capable of decency or real affection for any woman. He
will discard you all over again, like the trash that you are.” It’s her last attempt at wounding me, she’s so
obvious it’s kind of sad and I just grin all the more.
“Well, not that it matters as he legally gave me the means to live a financially stable and wealthy life
without him. So, it’s a win, win really. Toddle off, sweet cheeks, you don’t work here anymore and
you’re boring me. I have seen more sass and better comebacks in kindergarten children.” I’m done with
this conversation and done with her. It’s petty, and she needs to get the hell out of my face before I ram
my glass down her throat.
I don’t give her the opportunity to continue, I just get up, leave my drink, and walk away nodding at
security as I pass. It gives them the signal loud and clear, to escort her out if she tries to follow me.
Joanne was a leech in this place, always hanging in corners and I am so not regretting finally cutting
her loose. I should have done it an age ago and saved myself so much misery in seeing her in this
building day after day.
I wish we had done this forever ago and maybe I would have had some closure from her.
I get to the hall and look around warily. No sign of Alexi and Mico out here and I know he has either
dragged him up to the office or the apartment and maybe I should stay down here. Now that I have
vented me anger in the most dramatic way, I’m no longer as fierce and bold as five minutes ago.
Alexi will be raging with me, even if I have every right to tell him to go fuck himself. Last thing I want
right this second is to see him flip out, possibly drag me to the nearest room and tie me up to his
crucifix again.
I wanted to know if he still would. Guess I’ll find out if boundaries and promises really do hold any
weight with him nowadays.
Except, now, I’m utterly terrified of knowing what is coming.
An act of war.
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